Kim and her girls

WOW...its been long!

2010-07-21T08:25:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that it has been this long since I posted. Things have been good then bad then good again. I thought the roller coaster ride was over once I divorced PJ...NOT!!!! As the Carpenters sang..."Its only just begun..." So true! The last couple weeks have been pretty hard. We have found out that Bethanie might be lactose intolerant, Brookie has got to have eczema, and I have gone from 32 hour to 12. Can it get any worse? Maybe this is why I don't post...too much drama. I prefer to talk about good things not the bad....but whatever. On a good note...I have put myself out there and have gone to a lot of singles activities and have met some really AWESOME peeps! It reminds me of how it was when I was younger and single. We do have a blast and having single friends that KNOW what you are going through is so good. It has made me re-look at my life...I am not the only single mom/parent out there. Thanks to all of my new friends that have helped me see that there is light at the end of the tunnel!!!

Dear PJ

2010-06-02T19:33:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to tell you that you are missing out on your children. If life ever got to be so busy that I couldn't see my kids...something would have to change! This is your life that you are letting pass you by...and for what? One day you will look back and see that your children's lives have blown you by and wonder Where was I? Too busy working, putting your needs first and the needs of others that aren't as important as your children first. This is your flesh and blood we are talking about; not some side work, someones wedding, a head ache, some girlfriend, over time, or whatever your excuses might be. You are missing out on water fights, dodge ball, Brooklyn talking, conversations with Bethie, bubble blowing, sidewalk chalk, imaginary friends, play dates with friends, the park, Holidays, BBQs, late night movies, Brooklyn eating dirt, Bethie learning to ride a two wheeler, cloud watching, "Dad, guess what?', hugs, kisses, family, bumps and bruises, Sunday drives, watching them play with a box like it is a rocket, coloring, seeing your shadow for the first time and moving just to see what it does, and most of all growing up. Its all about priorities and making the best of the time you have; whether it be 2 hours, 2 days, 2 weeks, etc. It would be a cold day in hell for me to even think about missing the opportunity to be apart of their lives. Just remember that when they want nothing to do with you, don't come back on me saying that it was my fault...YOU have had all the chances, days, weekend visits, Holidays, vacations, time off work, etc to be there and YOU choose not to be there!

Sincerely,
Kim

Sick to my stomach!

2010-05-19T15:35:00.000-07:00

The past few days have been pretty crappy for me. It all started Sunday and has progressed through today. I think I have lost one of my best friends. I have known this person for about 4 yrs. and have been able to be myself with this person. Something happened and now this person seems different. I needed someone to talk to this morning and when I texted this person, I never got a response. My grandma died last night and even though it is a good and happy thing, I am sad. PJ was a real jerk this morning when I called him this morning to talk to him about Saturday...the day of the Funeral.....and he was so rude. Lastly, I got chewed out at work, but not to my face! I am the type of person who eats when they get upset and I thought that I had learned to control that behavior! Well guess not! After a meeting at work today where I was the reason for the meeting.....I started to cry and couldn't stop. Once I could go to lunch, I hit the food. As I was eating lunch a friend says to me: "You know you will be sick later today!" I haven't eaten a Whopper since November of 2009 and I had one for lunch and she was right. I feel like I could throw-up! I continued when I went to get Bethie from the Hall's.... I had an ice cream, then two cookies, and then some candy. I am sooooo sick to my stomach right now that I could kick myself in the butt. Why do we do this stuff? Why can we do something that we know we will regret later on......

A reunion at last....21 yrs is a long time!!

2010-05-17T19:29:00.000-07:00

I was not feeling myself todayand haven't been for a few days....really bad headache, cough, running nose, the works....so I decided to stay home from work to get better. Ya right did that not happen. I was putting Brooklyn down for a nap and my phone rang. It was my mom and I wasn't going to answer it but something told me to. So I did and she says: "Just calling to tell you that Grandma is not good...she will probably not make it through the night. They have put her in her own room so if you want to come and say goodbye or see her before she goes that would be fine." I hung up the phone and just cried! The day wasn't good to begin with and that just made it worse.

Bethie has no school this week because of assessments and I had made arrangements for her to go stay with the Hall's in Bountiful but decided that if they could take her tonight, I would take her up there and go see grandma. Of course they were all over that...Bethie and Hailey are so close; the more time they get together the better off they are. So off to Bountiful I went and dropped her off and then headed to the rest home. When I got there my dad was standing outside waiting to take me to her room. I visited with my aunts and uncles, laughed about old times and remember the good. I decided that I better take off.....having Brooklyn there was kind of hard....so I said my goodbyes.

Grandma I love you more than words can say. Thank you for being a great grandma. I will always remember bear lake raspberries and vanilla ice cream, the white peach tree, the riding lawn mower, the many sleepovers waking to the smell of coffee brewing, and many many more memories. Remember to give Grandpa a huge hug for me and tell him I love and have missed him tons.

Grandpa its time...21 years is a long time to be away from your loving wife and companion. May the reunion be filled with tears of joy. She is ready to be with you and all those that have gone before her. Come and take her home!!

What a great family!

2010-05-10T17:52:00.000-07:00

Years ago when PJ and I were married and moved to Bountiful (three streets down from his parents), his sister came to me and asked me if I would be interested in babysitting a little girl about 10 months old. I jumped at the chance to be able to stay at home and work. I set up a time for the parents to come and meet me and for me to meet their child. It wasn't a hard decision, on either side, to know that this was going to work. So we started watching a little girl named Hailey. We did everything together that summer, fall, winter, and spring. She was just like one of my own children. In fact I treated her just like my own daughter. We got really close with Hailey's parents and grandparents. Well a year came of watching her and her parents decided to move to Kentucky! I was heart broken...they had become like family and I was really sad to see them go. About four months later they came back and I insisted on taking her again. NO ONE else was going to watch my Haybug!!!! Long story short.....through all that has happened in my life they have been there with me and are still a big part of my life. Bethie and Hailey got so close while I watched her....just like sisters...that I could never tear them apart. They have one of those relationships that will last forever. I love her grandparents, Red and Michelle, as if they were my own parents. Hailey's parents, Heather and Anthony, are great as well. They are some of my closest friends and I love being with them.

Last Saturday we got together for a BBQ...come to find out it was a BBQ for my bday. We had sooo much fun. Michelle is a great cook and we always have awesome food. Heather helped Michelle make strawberry short cake from scratch and it was the best I had ever had. The girls get together sooo good and they played all day and night. They made some kind of soup out of Anthony's golf balls and played like they were getting attacked by alligators. We had a huge game of dodge ball with the girls and of course it was us against Anthony and needless to say we lost!! What great times! In fact, when we got in the car and were leaving Bountiful, Bethie says to me: "Mom aren't they the best friends ever?" and I agree. They are a great family and we are so blessed to have them in our lives. They will always and forever be apart of me and my girl's life!!

Look at these two...you'd think they were divas!

Anthony teaching the girls to golf........

I DID IT!!!!!!!

2010-05-09T12:41:00.000-07:00

Well after 10 weeks of training........I DID IT!!!!! I ran the Race for the Cure on Saturday! Let me tell you how amazing it was to be there, especially with my sister Heather. I can now say that I have done it and will continue every year from now on! It was and is the most amazing feeling......and yes I cried at the end. I was so proud of myself! A friend said to me the night before, "who'd a thought that a year ago you would be doing this?" And she was right....I have come so far in the last 6 months or so. Thanks to everybody who believed in me and gave me the support I needed to accomplish this!! Thanks Sis for letting me run with you....you are truly a great sister. I love you!

I wasn't sure how it was all going to go down, but once that gun went off for us to start.....I couldn't stop. I trained with a walk/run system and used that in the race. I started off with a brisk run and then implemented the walk/run system and finished in 41 minutes. At the end of the race I saw my girls, my parents, and my sister's fam., and yelled......I DID IT!!!!!! My emotions got the best of me when I saw my sister, who was only three mins. ahead of me, waiting with my family. I have never felt the feeling that I had at that moment before, and will cherish it the rest of my life!

I miss you today!

2010-05-03T20:21:00.001-07:00

Since my separation and divorce to PJ, I really haven't been able to listen to the radio. PJ and I had pretty much the same taste in music. Anything from Country to The 80's to Nine in Nails to Andrew Bochelli (or however you spell his name). We hardly ever fought over it and loved to listen to it. In several of the places that we lived, he would have the sound system in two places of the house. One the main living area and the other usually in the bedroom. At one time we could listen to one thing in the bedroom and a differ thing in the living room. We would listen to it at differ times of the day; like cleaning the house or just to relax.
It is hard for me to really listen to the radio or really any kind of music. I had friends put cds with songs of girl power or men bashing together, in fact I own two PINK cds and play them over and over and over. They don't seem to work as good as I thought they would, but oh well. My girls like to have music played at bedtime and when I am laying there with Brooklyn and hear the music, my mind wonders and I seem to think of PJ and for some odd reason today I miss him!

Ruffle Pants

2010-05-02T20:20:00.000-07:00

A few months ago my really good friend, Amy, showed me these ruffle outfits on Etsy. I totally fell in love with them and wanted to get an outfit for Brooklyn for her birthday. A couple weeks later I found one that I really liked and ordered. When we were opening presents and that outfit came around, Bethie hit the ceiling. She says: "Mom those pants are so hip hop. Can I have a pair?" I told her we would have to see and that was the end of the conversation.

Yesterday when PJ came and got the girls, I took myself out to do a little shopping. As I wondered around Walmart, I headed over to the fabric department and started looking through the pattern books. My intention was to find a pattern for some pajamas that another friend of a friend made for Bethie for her bday last year. We have a bday party for a cousin this week and I thought that would be fun to do for her. Well I came across a pattern for ruffle pants and decided that was the project I was going to do.

Saturday just got away and today I was kind of bored with packing boxes (we are moving with my parents to West Jordan), so out came the sewing projects. I started with a new 'meme' for Brooklyn and then decided to tackle the ruffle pants. OMH....how fun and easy that was. I was really nervous...I hadn't read a pattern like that in a LONG time. With a little guidance from my mom on some terminology in about 2 hours I got them finished! When I asked Bethie to come try them on, she freaked out! "Oh thanks mom, my hip hop pants!! Can I wear them now?" I told her no and that she could wear them tomorrow to school. You would of thought it was Christmas....she was sooooo excited and happy.

Next project...flirt skirts!

FRUSTRATED

2010-05-01T21:44:00.000-07:00

is not the only word....SAD is another. Here I sit at my computer crying at 10:45 p.m. Wishing that I could make it all go away. Bethie and Brooklyn went with there dad today for about 7 hours.........Brooklyn came home a snot and Bethie come home sad. Asking her how her day was she begins to cry and say: "Not good mom, dad yelled at me all day, I couldn't play with my toys, and I am getting kicked out of my room because Bree is moving back in the house!" I asked her why she couldn't play with her toys and she said: "Dad put them in the garage because Bree is moving in that room!" "What happened to your bed?" "I don't know but I don't get to sleep over anymore with dad so I guess I don't need one!" Talk about break your heart!! What do you do? I am so FRUSTRATED and SAD that my girls have to go thru all of this crap. Bethie did say that she got to see her Great Grandma Mary and play then, but it wasn't very long before they had to go back home. She laid in bed tonight sad and I just didn't have the words. So, I just laid with her and held her till she fell asleep. I have never been at such a loss for words............HELP!!

Hip Hop

2010-04-27T18:49:00.000-07:00

Bethanie is so into Hip Hop thing that just the other day she says to me: "Mom is this Hip Hop? Cause if it isn't, I am NOT wearing it!" OMH that blew my mind....I said "You are 5 and you WILL wear whatever I put on you!"

My mom took some pics the other day and Bethie asked if she could do Hip Hop poses....well this is what my mom got on camera:

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Oh no, where did it go?

2010-04-26T18:24:00.001-07:00

About a week ago Bethie came to me and told me she had a loose tooth! She was so excited and could hardly wait to tell someone. We called her dad, her Aunt Heidi, and her Aunt Nichole. She wanted to call her Great Grandma Mary, but she wasn't home. She was soooooo happy to finally have a loose tooth. Days past and she keep asking me, "Mom when is my tooth going to come out?" I tried to tell her soon, but that just didn't work. Well Saturday we were at my sister's house for Brooklyn's birthday. We had just finished dinner and I told the kids about the candy buffet and off they went with their boxes to fill with goodies. We had just cut the cake and my mom says shockingly: "Bethie where is your tooth?" She had lost her tooth eating candy or dinner and didn't even feel it. How could you not feel something hard in your food or evening chewing your food. Anyway it is gone and she was so worried that the tooth fairy wouldn't come because she didn't have a tooth to put under her pillow. We all explained to her that she would come, just put a note under your pillow and she will find it. Sure enough she did and Bethie got her first dollar from the tooth fairy!

Brooklyn's Birthday Party!

2010-04-25T12:59:00.000-07:00

Before I even say a word about the party....THANK YOU Heather and Brad for allowing me to have Brooklyn's party at your house. It really meant a lot to be able to have it there!! It was a great party and we all had great laughs and real fun! We had dinner and the kids got to take part of a candy buffet (thanks Amy for the GR8 idea)! Thanks family for all that you do for me and my girls! We love you all so much and am grateful that you are in our lives!

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We had a great night outside....

2010-04-19T20:54:00.001-07:00

headache and all!!!!!

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Another cousin playdate!

2010-04-17T18:07:00.001-07:00

So today was the second time that the girls and I got together for a play date. We went to Kangaroo Zoo and the girls had a blast!!!! It was good to see the girls playing with their cousins and getting along. Lily, Mary, and Bethie were good babysitters. They keep track of Brooklyn and made sure she was safe. Bethie comes running to us and is yelling that Brooklyn got kicked in the head by another kid. Well by the time we got over there, Lily had taken care of it all. Go Lily...way to be a tough kid! So we ordered pizza and let the girls play some more. I watched Brooklyn at the end so the girls could go off and do their own thing. So Brooklyn was in this on jumper and she picked up something and started to eat it. OMH!!! I yelled and freaked out. I said to little Josh (who isn't so little anymore): "Get in there and get her for me please. She just put gum or something in her mouth!!" So off he went and got her. Once we got her out of the jumper, I took it out of her mouth. Come to find out it was only a Skittle and she ate it not someone else.....phew!!!! You should of seen me, I was dry heaving. It was gross!! Anyway.....the girls had a blast and I am glad that we get to spend time with their cousins on that side of the fam! Thanks Redd fam and Grandma 'D' for letting us be apart our your lives!

Oh by the way here are some pics!!!!

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Not a good thing.....

2010-04-13T18:11:00.000-07:00

Training was really hard for me today....I was suppose to jog 6 mins., walk 5, jog 6 mins., walk 5 mins. But that DID NOT HAPPEN!?!?!? I got a side stitch and felt like I couldn't breath in right so I stopped and just walked home. I thought that I had given myself enough time after eating dinner, but I guess not. I just don't understand....actually I do. With Brooklyn being sick I really haven't been able to do my training. Which is hard for me cause I want this so bad! Anyway when I got home and looked at the training schedule I was on the wrong day. I don't think that had anything to do with it cause if I go back to the right day, tomorrow is another long run! Any advice runners?

Yes life can get back to normal!

2010-04-11T20:23:00.001-07:00

You know when your children or child, in my case, is feeling much better when you see them doing this with their cousins:

Or when you have to change outfits because they get a hold of a squirt bottle:

I am sooooo glad that little Brookie feels so much better. She has eaten like a horse today and is constantly wanting something to drink. Maybe now we can go back to the potty training thing.....I am so sick of diapers!!!!

Thanks everyone for all that you did for me the past week and all your prayers for Brooklyn....it has meant more than you all know and more than I can convey! Love you all!!!

Progess report and random pics!

2010-04-07T20:20:00.000-07:00

Tonight was a training night. I haven't been able to do much because of the whole thing with Brookie and all the ER visits and the doctor visits so I was a little nervous. Now to some of you running for 7 mins straight is probably not hard. Well when you aren't a runner it seems like eternity. So off I went...the first 5 mins was just a walk. Now I am a great speed walker and have done speed walking since I was in college (I had to take PE and that seemed like the best thing to take!). So walking is no biggie! Well once that 5 mins was up I headed into my 7 mins jog.........well I get about half way in and I start to loose it and my mind is telling me to stop and just walk....OH NO YOU DON'T! I had a hard time finding good music to run to on my little iPod shuffler and I need that kind of stuff.....so I start telling myself (out loud mind you) 'Come on girl...you can do it!!" The more I keep telling myself that, I keep going. I then proceeded to say it louder and louder. Well if you were driving next to me or even walking around me you might of thought to your self....'Man that girl is crazy!' No just self motivation!!!!! Anyway I made it and I feel GREAT!!!! I am going to do this...you just wait and see!!

Oh P.S. Here is a slide of some random pics of the girls. In some of them you can see the sores on the front of Brookie's face....the inside is 10 times worse!!!!!

Another picture slideshow by Smilebox

Herpetic stomatitis Information at myOptumHealth

2010-04-05T14:44:00.000-07:00

Herpetic stomatitis Information at myOptumHealth

Just in case you want to read more about what Brooklyn has!

Saturday=ER Sunday=ER Monday=Doctor Tuesday=No Daycare

2010-04-05T13:06:00.000-07:00

The title explains it all. Friday we went to PJ's sisters house for the girls to play with their cousins. We headed home for the night and Brooklyn's spiked a fever. Let me tell you I am so sick of this kid being sick. So taking medicine is sooo hard with this kid. She spits out everything...including grape flavored Tylenol. So it was like pulling teeth. We went to bed and it all went down hill. Brooklyn ended up in my bed and around 3 in the morning she started to shake. I have never had a child shake like that while having a fever. So I got really worried and called for my mom. She came in and Brooklyn fell back asleep. So back to bed we went. Well around 5 in the morning she started to shake again and this time it was worse and I decided that I couldn't wait til the morning for the insta care to open, so off to the ER we went. I live just down the street from the new IMC and decided that we just better head there instead of trying to go all the way to Primarys.

We got to the ER and they took us right in and put us in a room. We didn't wait too long and we saw the doctor. She took asked a lot of questions and took a lot of notes. They came in and forced some Ib down and tried some peidalite to see what would happen. After a few long hours they decided that she had a URI (upper respiratory infection) The dr. that we saw was AWESOME. He gave me some prescriptions and some instructions to follow and asked if I would mind bringing Brooklyn back on Sunday around Noon for a follow-up. I didn't hesitate because I need to know what is going on and to get her better. So homeward bound we went and stuck in the house.

The Saturday before Easter is usually one to never forget. We all get together for fun and dyeing eggs. Well just like the Super Bowl, Brooklyn and I stayed home and watched tv and some movies. Well Saturday night was not a good night. Even with the meds in her, the fever spiked and she just laid in bed either crying or moaning. Noon was too far away, but we waited. We got back to the Er and they took her vitals and things had changed. Her fever was higher and her heart rate was accelerated. We got in the room and the dr. we saw on Saturday came right in and started with the questions. He decided that it was best now to run a bunch of tests and figure out why Brooklyn was feeling like this. So IV fluids, urine catheter test, suction of nose for a viral test, and a round of IB and Tylenol every three hours. OMH can you imagine a 23 month old child with an IV......not a good picture. My mom had to leave the room and Bethie just cried. There I was wishing I could take it all away from her and have her not have to go through all of this. I decided that I better call her dad and let him know what was going on....bad idea! I am not going to go into details, but needless to say he didn't come and said "just let me know." Whatever A**hole, some 'father' you are. So we waited and waited and waited......finally she started to came alive. She wanted to get down and walk around and be herself...kindof hard when your IV only goes so far. We read some books, had her uncles come and give her a blessing, and waited some more. Finally Dr. Allen came back and said that all of the tests but two had come back negative and that he was going to send us home. He told us to continue with the every three hours of the IB and the Tylenol and to make an appointment with the ped. for a follow-up and to look at the last two tests. At least she was back to herself.....well at least I thought. We got home and had to spend the rest of the night up stairs in our room cause we had most of my family over for Easter Dinner and we didn't want to take the chance that what she had was contagious. Some Easter! Poor Brooklyn isn't in any of the Easter pics and didn't get to do the whole egg hunt, but its okay. I would rather get her better than make it worse.

Today off we went to the dr. office to figure out what the world is going on. We didn't see our regular ped., but thats ok. I really trust most of the Doctors in the clinic, I don't mind seeing someone else. After the doctor read the file, asked some questions, and looked at Brooklyn....he knew what was going on. Brooklyn has what is called Herpetic Stomatitis. Basically she has the herpes simplex virus. Most child get this virus and when they turn 18 or 19 and get their fist cold sore they wonder how they got it, but once you get that virus it stays in you. In fact we all have the virus hence why we get cold sores, fever blisters, heat blisters, etc. Since it is contagious she can't go back to daycare for about 10 more days and really shouldn't play with others toys, eat off others utensils, etc. Happy Day for me!!! My folks have decided that they will watch her from now on, well at least till summer school is over.

So if you want to know how my Spring Break was......you know now!

Therepy and much much more

2010-04-03T13:08:00.000-07:00

So life in the fast lane was great for me...I got divorced, headed back into the work force, sent my youngest to daycare, my oldest started Kindergarten, and I moved in with family. Life seemed to be just great. I keep really busy and a lot of the thoughts I had just seemed to go away and stay hidden. Well when you keep things bottled up and thoughts hidden....it eventually comes to the top of that bottle and bursts. Around December that is what happened to me...things that I had bottled up inside came out and I was a train wreck. I just went crazy with all this stuff and didn't know really were to go or how to handle it. I locked my family out, my friends, my kids, and the whole world. So I went to my parents and asked them what they thought about me going to see a therapist. The decision was made and off I went.

Let me tell you that doing that was the best thing I have done for myself since my divorce. It brought out a lot of anger, hate, and emotions that I didn't even know I had. It showed me how not to hold a grudge and to not keep things inside and to forget about the past. I found out how to handle the rough things in life. I have found out how to get myself back and to own myself and to not let someone else own me. I am at rest with what has happened in my life and I know that I did try my best and I did all that I could. Yes it is sad and I will have that sadness in my life, but I know how to not let it take me. I have forgiven, not only myself, but PJ for all that has happened and I am now putting myself forward and first.

I recently got a comment on my blog that sparked a little conversation.....it must of been from Heavenly Father telling me that I could handle what came my way or as one person said: "thanks for being mature about it!" I ventured outside the box and made a decision that effects me and my little family in a way that I thought might cause a problem, but it didn't. I, along with others, have decided that it is important for the girls to know who they are and to know their other family.

So last night and more nights to come I took the girls to see their cousins and family on PJ's side. I have done it before, but the effect of that caused problems and I decided not to do it again. But now with what I have from my therapy and knowing the fact that the divorce just didn't happen to me, I changed my mind. I gave certain conditions when deciding this and all parties were good with the conditions. I was really nervous to go, but it was actually a really good visit. Thanks Heidi and Josh for opening your home and allowing the girls to come and have a relationship with you and your cute family. I know with all my heart that this will be good for the girls. They have every right to know that part of their lives and am grateful for the opportunity to do so.

Its snowing....

2010-04-01T05:51:00.000-07:00

its cold, I don't like being wet, and it is 6:00 a.m. My mind says to me 'DO IT ANYWAY!' and so I did! I got out of bed put on my running/walking gear and out the door I went. OMH was it cold.....I keep saying to myself "DO IT, It isn't that bad!"...and it wasn't. I was a little nervous today with what my training plan said, but I did it without any problems. No huffing and puffing for air, no pain in the side, nothing! And here I am at 7:00 a.m. posting, wide awake, and ready to attack the day! I hope it continues to be this easy from here....it might not and I know that, but with all that has happened in my life...................I AM READY!!!!!!

Day Two....

2010-03-29T20:10:00.000-07:00

of my training went very well. I am very excited. I was for sure thinking it was going to be hard, but have found that it is really easy. I know...it is only day two, but I am hopeful.

Step One...complete

2010-03-27T15:20:00.000-07:00

November of 2009 I had had enough of looking like a fat frumpy mom/person (as my great friend Amy put it about so many women/moms) and decided it was time to get my health in order. I was talking to a gal at work and she mentioned Weight Watchers. I wasn't quit sure that was the right path to take, because of the cost. She then continued to tell me that she use to teach for Weight Watchers and had all the stuff I would need to get started. So she brought me all her stuff and I began to read and dive into the program. I picked the points system and off I went. We decided that she was going to do it with me and that we would weigh in every Tuesday at school to keep track of losses and gains (to have that kind of support you get when you go to weekly meetings at Weight Watchers). The first week was really hard and I was really hungry, but I as I continued and the lbs. came off, I feel in love with it. My appetite decreased, I eliminated soda and all the junk food, and stopped going out to eat (as far as fast food places). I keep my flex pts. for the weekend just in case I wanted to go out and eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. Life started to change. I went down 3 pant sizes and 1 shirt size and today I have lost a total of 25.4 lbs.
My sister came to me the other day and asked if I wanted to do the Race for the Cure with her on May 8th. I was very hesitant and not sure that would be something I could do. BUT...I said YES! I've been talking about walking the Race for awhile and never thought that I could run it, but I am going to do it. Today I completed Step One. I took myself down to The Salt Lake Running Co. and bought me a pair of running shoes and inserts. I really felt good walking in there and telling the sales lady exactly what I wanted and she just went to it. Before I would of never stepped foot in that place cause I laked the self confidence. NOT TODAY!!! I finished my errands and when I came home off went the street clothes and on came the workout clothes and I hit the pavement. I have decided to use the Couch to 5K training plan to help me prepare for the Race, since I heard that was a good place to start. So today the chart said: walk 5 min., jog 2 min., then walk 5 min. OMH did that feel great! I could of gone on, but promised myself and my sister that I would stick to the training and not over do it. How exhilarating that feels to know that I can do this and nothing is going to get in my way!

I think it is funny...

2010-03-24T12:50:00.000-07:00

when someone reads a blog and totally takes it out to its content. I mean, come on people! Re-read it and get your facts straight before you go and run your mouth off and cause problems! Because causing problems is the last thing I need in my life.

My little angel

2010-03-22T20:01:00.000-07:00

Last night Brooklyn woke up around 8:30 p.m. after being asleep for only 45 mins. I let her cry for awhile and then she really started to get upset and cry harder. So I got ready for bed and went in to get her and put her in bed with me. Now I usually don't do that and because I did with my 5-year-old when she was little....she now doesn't have good sleep patterns. In fact about 4 out of the 7 days in the week she ends up on my floor or I end up in her bed laying by her. So to all that I believe, Brooklyn is in bed with me and she starts to cough...or should I say bark like a seal! OMH not again!! So I crack a window and let the cold air come into the room.....well her comes Bethie. "Mom can you lay by me?" Well I ended up putting Brooklyn back in her bed, cranked up the cool mist, and laid by Bethie. Brooklyn went back to sleep and Bethie laid there and finally went back to bed. I got back into my room around 3:45 a.m. and I laid there! All this sickness keep running through my mind....Why can't we stay well!! Two reasons the dr. told me this afternoon.....1. I have a kindergartner and 2. My child is in daycare. Plus, on top of Brooklyn going to daycare..she had croup at the age of 3 months which makes her more prone to all and everything out there! LUCKY ME!! I guess I am just thankful to have a good boss and know that she understands (at least she says she does and I pray that she does!!!) Anyway...today I decided to put her in a big girl bed and to heck with all this baby stuff. She has been going potty in the toilet and so why not! Tonight I had to lay by her just to give her that self assurance that it was okay to be in a big girl bed and she fell asleep quite well. Just looking at her asleep makes it all worth it! She is such a good baby and I wouldn't trade that for anything! Thanks Heavenly Father for sending her and her spirit to me....I feel you knew what was going to happen in my life after she was born and that is why I have her....

Have you ever?

2010-03-21T15:02:00.001-07:00

So last night I watched 2012 and am not sure today if that was a great idea. I have had the biggest anxiety attack ever and can't seem to get those things out of my mind. I was texting a good friend this morning about it and she asked if I thought that is how the world is going to come to an end. I really haven't really thought about that kind of thing, but have you ever really sat down and wondered? Well, I thought that because of our beliefs that it wouldn't be that drastic...Well boy was I wrong. I went in and started talking to my parents and they pretty much disagreed with me. The world will be cleansed by fire and the wicked will be burned! And it will be that bad, but not to worry is what they said! There it goes...ANXIETY!!!!!! Not that I am some horrible person and that I have committed murder or something like that, but the fear set in. Why is it that I am afraid of what is to come when our Savior comes again? Why is it that that concept causes so much anxiety? HELP!

I just don't know......

2010-03-20T19:06:00.000-07:00

why this week has been sooo bad! I have been the crankiest person in the whole wide world. I just don't know what the heck is going on. One minute I want to cry and go to bed and the other I am dropping words that I don't ever use and am just hateful. I am not sure what to even say to people and if you talk to me, my tone of voice just might bite your head off (don't believe me ask my parents especially my mom). We are going on almost 6 wks where PJ hasn't come and taken Bethie and hell forget Brooklyn...he doesn't even ask about her! Work has been really hard, not because of work related stuff, but because my child attends the same school and has issues! Brooklyn has been sick and I missed three full days of work just to take her to the dr. office to get a shot because she refused to take her meds. and was getting sicker. I am tired of let down and really don't know how to handle it, why is it so easy for men to get back in the dating field? Three months after things ended with the divorce and that, PJ is shacked up with some girl. Wait, some woman and her two teenage kids. let alone the other young adults that don't live with her. What is that all about?
I might say I am sorry to all of you who read this, but I'm not! This is how it has been for about two weeks and...................................................................................

Just FYI

2010-02-16T18:41:00.000-08:00

Here are a few things that I thought you all might want to know:

1. Never flush the toilet without the lid being down....all the fecal matter back splashes about 20 feet when you flush it!

2. Don't leave you toothbrush out on the counter because of the back splashes from flushing the toilet...ewww imagine brushing your teeth with all that crap on it!

3. Along with not leaving you toothbrush out on the counter, don't leave it where the hair brush is...you might start brushing your teeth and gag because the hair is tangled all around the bristles.

4. Never Ever Never use Fructis products...they give your hair flakes!!!!

5. Always remember to brush your teeth..you never know who you might run into!

6. Don't forget the dictionary while typing a new post on your blog!!!!!

Was I crazy or what!!!

2010-02-14T17:32:00.000-08:00

So when PJ and I were married we kind of had this Saturday tradition of going out to breakfast and then running errands. It was one of my most favorite things to do on the weekend. When we got divorced, I really missed it. So, I have tried to do the same with the girls now that we are on our own. Saturday we got up and headed out before Bethie left to go to her dad's for the weekend. We went and got Bethie's hair cut...that was ok. Then I asked "What about breakfast?" Bethie replies with "Ihoppers!" OMH are you serious.....well I quess it is worth a shot. So off we went. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but then Brooklyn started to scream. Bethie wanted some dumb paper that Brooklyn had and when she took it Brooklyn screamed! It seemed like the whole entire restraunt turned and looked directly at us! I turned to Brooklyn and whispered in her ear: "Brooklyn this is not a place where we scream." She whispers back: "K mommy!" and that was the end. Bethie got her paper back and we started looking for sight words and putting circles around them. Brooklyn started dumping salt on the table and licking it with her fingers...at least she was quiet. It was one of those moments that as long as they are quiet and engaged in something, I really didn't care. We got our food and things were great. We ate and as soon as I got the check...we were GONE! Needless to say this will be an event that I will never forget.

2010-02-06T07:44:00.000-08:00

For all of u who read my posts...........JT is home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will it ever end?

2010-01-22T09:37:00.001-08:00

So I decided that I need to Blog at least once a week if not twice. I am always on facebook, but there really isn't space to really write 'whats on you mind'. I also have decided that this blog is just not for the girls, but for me too.

Bethie is starting to be so sassy that I wonder if it will ever end. When she talks to me its as if she is 16 and I am really having a hard time with that. I could understand if she was 16, but she is 5. There are times when she and I are having a conversation and she reminds me of her dad. Always trying to argue with me and make sure that she ends up winning the conversation or making her point well known. Urrrrrrr!!!! I have enough reminders of him, I don't need that coming from my 5-year-old. Don't get me wrong...I love my Bethie, but come on! Any advice would be great!

2010-01-17T20:49:00.000-08:00

I wasn't sure what to title this so I just started typing. Before the divorce, I babysat to get extra money. Bethie wasn't sure, at first, that having to share mom with someone else was a good idea, but now becuase of that she has a great friend. Even when Brooklyn came along the two of them didn't mind having to share me with her. I never really saw them when they were together and they played so good! Well, life happens and things change. Ever since the divorce, Bethie has had the hardest time dealing with the loss of friends. She is constantly reminding me how much she miss her life in Bountiful, the friends that she had, and even the people that just influenced her life. I have struggled for weeks with her and this constant conversation. The nights she cries to me about how much she wants to be back in that life. You know how they say when your kids hurt so do you? Well it is so true. I hurt that she hurts, I cry when she cries, and I know with all my heart how she feels. Instead of just trying to let it go, I decided (with the help of some great and awesome friends) that that needed to end. I need to let Bethie live in that life and not just remember it. So, Thursday I called and arranged for a great friend to come down to our house and spend the day. Bethie was soooo excited that I don't think she slept much that night. So from now no this is going to be a monthly or bi-monthly thing for her. She needs that in her life and I can't not give her that!
Here is a little slide of how that day went:

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Christmas 2009

2009-12-26T14:48:00.000-08:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Disney Princess on Ice

2009-11-20T08:32:00.000-08:00

Thank You so much to my good friend Holly for giving us the tickets. I was able to take Bee and her best cousin, Ryleigh, to the show. In fact the day we went was Ryleigh's b-day. What great memories the two of them will have. Thanks again Holly!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

What's Up!

2009-11-04T09:42:00.000-08:00

Since Brooklyn is confined to home and I have the rest of the week off, I decided that I should post and update you all on 'what's up' with us. Fall has been way fun for us; the leaves, friends, canning, Halloween, playing with friends, and just hanging at home.
The girls are good. Brooklyn has this nasty H1N1 bull crap along with croup and some viral flu. We have had some scarey days with her but I am sure we are on the down hill. She loves to go to day care and play with Ms Wendy and the kids. It has gotten to the point that she doesn't even cry anymore when I drop her off. She waves goodbye and says "C YA!"
Bee just loves going to school and learning. She comes home and talks about her day and how all her friends are mean to her and how she hates Jessie, but in the long run she has a great time with school. She likes to tell stories about her friends being mean to her, but it is the other way around. Bee likes to be the boss and when they don't want to do what she wants them to do, she says that they are being mean! GO FIGURE!
Work for me is going good. I really enjoy what I do, but realize that it won't be forever. Not that I want to be on my own just yet, but I now if I want to do that I need to find a better job that pays more and has longer hours. I have decided not to do the extended program after school anymore...my girls need their mom at home! It has been nice to be home for awhile, not that I want to have Brooklyn be sick, but I have gotten a lot of stuff done. I do, however, look forward to going back to work on Monday.
Here are some pics of some of the stuff we have done in the last litte while. Hope all is well with all of you!

JT

2009-11-02T20:22:00.001-08:00

I haven't blogged for a long time and thought I would just give a little shout out! The title of my post may catch some of you off guard, but that's okay. I have a cousin who was expecting and at 25 weeks delivered a 1 lb. 4 oz. baby boy. With complications with her BP he came that fast. His little feet were half an inch wide and he looks just like an angel. Over the past three weeks he has gained 5 oz. and is doing really good. He is getting his mom's milk and retaining it well. You are probably wondering why I am telling you all this.....well as a mom my heart goes out to my cousin. I am not sure I would be able to hand what she is going through. I went over to see her the other day and she is sooo strong. She said to me, "I know with all my heart that Heavenly Father gave me JT because he knew I could handle it. I know that he doesn't give me things that I can not handle." What a strong woman my cousin is. I am sure that I would be a wreck if JT was my son. Leaving the hospital without your baby and watching all the other mothers be able to would kill me. It makes you look at life and realize how special life is!

So, I have made myself a bracelet that I will wear until little JT comes home or maybe forever. I had a hard time trying to figure out what to put on the bracelet or what it should mean. My cousin has incredible strength in dealing with this that I thought 'Strength' should be the theme surround it. So I googled the word 'Strength' and colors today trying to find what color is attached to 'Strength'. I came upon a great web sit that listed all the colors and their meanings. This is what I found:

'When I think of orange, the colors of fall come to mind. It is still warm, but the cold of winter will be upon us soon. Orange is strength and endurance. It will keep us warm until the signs of life stir in the frozen land once again. Orange is vibrant and warm. Survival and Strength.'

Also:

'In heraldry, orange is symbolic of strength and endurance.'

The bracelet that I made has JT's initials in it and lots of orange colored beads. So, to my cousin who has great strength in having to go through this hardship in her life and to JT that he may have the strength he needs to continue on his journey.

Soccer

2009-09-20T19:15:00.000-07:00

So I asked Bee what she wanted to do this fall, play soccer or dance. Well she decided to play soccer. So our first game/practice was pretty good. Bee came up with the name of the team, we are known as the 'Green Machines'. We left and Bee says to me in the car, "Mom I think this is going to be really fun!" Well Thursday's game was not so great. We played the Killer Bees. Bee was doing great for never playing soccer until her and a opposing teammate collided and hit each other in the head. See, because they are so little, the coaches can be on the field to help out and no one tends the goal. Some of the same rule applies, but not all. So when the two collided Bee turns to me and I shout "Its okay, shake it off!" She then continues to play and when the other team scored, I ran out to get her. She is still crying and doesn't want to play anymore. Well she went from me to her dad to Grandma Donna to Aunt Colie back to her dad and then to me. While she was going back and forth she happens to say to all of us: "I wish I would of picked dancing!" We all go a chuckle and she decided not to finish the game. Through all of the drama, we still won 5-2. We got home that night and she said that she didn't want to play anymore and I told her that the decision was up to her. Well, Friday came along and her dad called to ask is she was going to play on Saturday and she responded with: "Ya, my team needs me to be there to help win!" So, we went Saturday to play and she did really good. She got the ball a few times and kicked it, but other than that she pretty much stays away from it. We won 10-1. I don't blame her for staying away from the ball. We are going to practice before the next game on Thursday and then she can decided if she wants to play or not.

We just scored our first goal. 1-0

Bee getting a touch of the ball.

Bee and her friend Abby passing the ball.

First Day of Kindergarten

2009-09-13T20:22:00.001-07:00

Bethanie started Kindergarten this year....OMH! I can't believe that my Bee is going to school. It seems like just yesterday I had her. She loves it and that is all that matters. We have a lot of work to do, Bee is a little lazy! As long as she applies her self, she will be brilliant. Bee is a smart kid and she knows it, but when she get lazy we have issues. I wonder where she gets that from...not me!!! She did great the first week, but now she seems to struggle. I think once Bee gets in the grove, she will be just fine. We took pics (of course) of her first day of school and thought we would share them with you all. Thanks Uncle Matthew, Aunt Kat, and Zoe for the outfit. It was a hit for the first day of school!

Gotta love that face!

Love the Cheese!

Happy Birthday Bethanie!

2009-08-10T20:06:00.000-07:00

August 9, 2004 I gave birth to my first child, Bethanie Ann. Most mothers can remember those days like they were yesterday. Bethanie was not born in Utah, but in Albuquerque New Mexico(Don't Ask). We moved back to Utah when she was 6 months old. She weighed 7lbs. 8oz., was 20 1/2 inches long, and had lots of jet black hair. So here is to you, Bethanie my love, may you never lose that spunk you have and the sweet spirit inside you. Mom loves you sooo much and will always be here for you! Happy Birthday my little peanut!

Birthday

2009-08-04T20:19:00.001-07:00

I have decided to make Bethanie's birthday cake this year! I am a little nervous that it will not turn out how I want it to, but what do ya do. My mom's mom made wedding cakes and cakes when she(my mom)was younger so it will be nice to have her help and knowledge on the matter. It is going to take me three days to get it done. We start on Friday.........wish me luck!

Oh my holy DUCKS!

2009-07-29T16:01:00.000-07:00

Ever since we moved in with with my parents,we have gotten ourselves into a little routine. We have become duck feeders. There are a lot of ducks at our complex! Everyday we the girls and I are out there feeding our little friends. There are even a few ducks that will eat right out of our hands. It is sooooo much fun. I decided 2 take a few pics so that you all could see our little duck friends!

~15 months~

2009-07-28T07:07:00.000-07:00

I can not believe that Brooklyn is 15 months! Where does the time go? She is still only 20 lbs, but she is 30 and 3/4 inches tall. She ranges in the 75th percentile of her height! She still is not walking on her own, but that is ok. She has taken about 5 steps on her own, but then falls to the ground and crawls! Lazy is what I call it! She loves to say Heidi (my mom has a dog named that), Adi (my niece's name is Addison and they call her Adi), she knows what hot means (she pants like a dog when things are hot or you say the word hot), and she knows what dirty means. That one is kind of funny, you say dirty or gross and she makes this sound and she knows that it is dirty or gross. She also says "whats that?" which is dang cute. She has figured out that she can say that to anything and get a response! Brooklyn likes to scream, especially at Bethie! Gotta love that sisterly bond they have going on! She loves to sit in chairs that are her size and will play with them forever. She really likes to give hugs and loves her Aunt Nichole and Grammie Donna. Speaking of Grammie Donna, she has got Brooklyn hooked on crushed ice! You can't even fix a drink without her screaming cause she KNOWS that there is ice in that cup! Thanks mom!!! Just think she could be truning five and going to kindergarten! Now that is a differ post!

Monday Night S'mores!

2009-07-21T20:54:00.000-07:00

We went camping last weekend....Yes I took the girls camping and let me tell you I will NEVER do that again until Brooklyn is about 6!!!!! Don't get me wrong...it was fun, but it works a lot better when there are more hands (like husband hands) and your kid can walk and not crawl around eating the dirt!!! So Heather, my little sis, was telling us about oven s'mores! That they are better than any fire roasted marshmallow s'more. And that we will never eat s'mores again if we have then oven style. So Monday being FHE we decided to make oven s'mores! Oh my heck was Heather right! They were so goooooood! My parents, Bethanie, and I had two each! I could of had five, but.....I didn't! Thanks Heather, from now on we will being having FHE and Monday Night S'mores!!!!

Bethanie says to me: "Mmmmm, Mom these are great!" Ya you should of seen her face after she ate them, that pic is PRICELESS!!!

Recap.....

2009-07-06T12:43:00.000-07:00

A lot has gone on the past couple weeks and I thought that I should just do a recap on our family events. I worked during most of June, but our weekends were fabulous. We have spent them at the Zoo, the pool, friends houses, and of course we attended my sister's annual July 3rd party!!
The Zoo is a great place to be. This is the second time that we have owned a zoo pass and we love it. They have what is called "The Safari Sunrise Walk" which is for members only. They open the zoo at 7:30 and allow the members to watch as the zoo wakes up. We love it, not only me, but the girls too. Brooklyn loves to watch the monkeys and yells at them when they don't move. Bethanie loves....well everything.
The pool on the other hand is sometimes a scary thing. I don't mind going with our best friends in Bountiful, but when it is just the girls and I, I have anxiety! They both love the water so much...it is hard to keep track of both of them. So no more outings to the pool without friends. We also went to the Oquirrh Hills Temple open house...that was a great experience for me and Bethaine. She is so excited to go when she gets older!
We also hang out a lot at Amy and Natalie's house. The kids play and Amy and I do crafts. The girls love to be together and I love hanging out with Amy and making stuff.
For my sisters annual party, we had a blast. They do it on the third every year and then head to Granite High School for the fireworks. She used to live right down the street from Granite and we would just walk to the High School and watch the fireworks. She has done this party for about 12 years.....(that is a guess. I am not really sure how long it has been, but it has been a long time.) So now we just have a great BBQ and then we all get in cars and drive over to a church parking lot and park and walk to the school. I haven't been in a few years, my x and I kind of started our own tradition and....well we all know what happened there. It was sad for me to not be up at Eaglewood Golf Course with great friends and fam watching the fireworks, but life happens and things change.
I have compiled a little slide show of our events for the past couple weeks. Enjoy!

NO more pencils....NO more books.....

2009-06-29T14:58:00.000-07:00

Summer school is officially over!!!!! Great for me...no job!! (NOT) Pretty sure I can make it to August 24th when school starts.
Things are going good in our lives. Brooklyn just gets bigger and bigger everyday. She is blabbing like crazy, but still is not walking. Hey...I am not concerned...the later it is the better. No hurry Little Miss! We went to a really good friends birthday party yesterday and she surprised me by getting off the deck herself. She just turned around and went backward off the deck. She loves B's build-a-bear, but not her own. I think it is because B's has music in it and hers doesn't. Little Miss loves the water....it is funny, she hates the tub, but LOVES the pool.
Bethanie is getting excited to go Kindergarten. She surprises me everyday on what she has picked up. Today she asked me how to spell my name, so I told her how and she says:"Well, how do you do a K?" So I showed her and she did a pretty good job. That birthday party we went to was for Hailey, a girl I used to babysit, and B had so much fun. She loves to play with Hailey and cries about not being able to. She gets really upset sometimes and says to me: "Can't we just move back to Bountiful so I can play with my old friends Haybug and Natalie?" It breaks my heart when she says stuff like that, but we get through it and move on! Thank goodness for cars and roads so I can get her up to Bountiful. I can't believe that she will be 5 in about a month...where has all the time gone?????

This is B and Haybug before we moved.

This is the girls last year!

Summer begins....

2009-06-07T12:35:00.000-07:00

I have had some great and not so great summers. This year will be a great one.....even though I have to work. We have spent a few days up in Bountiful, with Amy and her girls, at the pool. We love the pool. Brooklyn loves the water. In fact the first time I put her in the pool in her floaty, she climbed out of it and fell in the water. After a recovery of water up the nose and mouth she refused to get in it again. She would kick and scream if I tried to even put her in it. So, thanks to her dad, she has a new bathing suit with floaty things on the inside. She likes it, but she still falls over head first, if she gets too far into the water. This week may not be a good time for the pool. My sister has a rule about the pool, she doesn't go unless it is 80 degrees or hotter. Well this week it is suppose to be rainy and cool. Dang it! I was hoping for some sun on my pasty white legs and on my farmer tan from recess duty. Happy Summer to you all!

Brooklyn's nickname!

2009-06-01T09:12:00.000-07:00

So my mom told me that in my last post, I used the spelling of Brooklyn's nickname as something that you use to clean your car window. Well we can not have that!!!! So I have been thinking and I can't come up with the correct spelling. Well my mom came to me with a way to spell it, so here it is: Squiggy

So from now on that will be Brooklyn's nickname. If you don't know B's nickname...ask her dad. I hate the nickname he has for her, so I just use the name the nurse gave her when she was first born. That name would be Peanut.

'Squeegee'

2009-05-24T19:21:00.000-07:00

So you might wonder what the heck that says or how we came up with that word. Well, my mom made it up for Brooklyn. She wiggles and squirms so much my mom started to call her 'Squeegee'. Take the two words and what do you get...... Just look at the pic, she would not hold still for me to even get a good one, so here is part of her head. Maybe that is not the best way to spell it, but just ask my kindergarten kids how to spell a word and they will tell you to sound it out. So I sounded it out and that is what I got. If you have a better way to spell it, please let me know.

Mother's Day Present!

2009-05-19T19:29:00.001-07:00

So I found this in a bag that was given to me for Mother's Day from B and thought you all might get a little chuckle from reading it:

The Pool!

2009-05-19T19:09:00.000-07:00

So I promised B that we would go to the pool yesterday after dinner.....well her friend came over and we had dinner and they played til about 7:30. Well once Afton left guess who wants to go the pool??? Yeap B. I told her that we would go the next day after I got off work. Once again we ran into a road block, the pool didn't open til 4 and we went at 3. So we ventured back home til after dinner. I really did not want to go, but a promise is a promise. So off we went and the only thing I am going to say is I will never go to the pool again unless I have: 1. Two more arms and 2. a STROLLER. I have a stroller, but it is a double stroller and I am NOT dragging that thing into the inside pool.

Go Go Go....

2009-05-14T20:37:00.000-07:00

Today was a go go go day. I was up at 6 and it is 9:39pm and I am still awake! B had a Dr's. appointment today and she had to pee in a cup to check to see if her UTI has gone completely out of her system and she refused to do it. Finally after 45 mins in the office area I said to her: "Bethi if you go pee in the cup we can go to the Zoo!" Well that worked. Sure as stuff the minute we went in the bathroom with the cup, she went! The things we do as mothers to get our kids to do stuff. So off to the Zoo we went. We saw whatever animals she wanted to see, we rode the train and the new carousel, had Kettle Corn, and decided that we better go before it got to busy. Then we ran 'mom' errands, went and saw my grandma (who is in a nursing home), and headed home. We walked out the door this morning at 9:15 and didn't get back til 6:15. Then we did our nightly routine and now I am ready for bed. The kids passed out hours ago. What it would be to be young again!!

The many quotes of a 4yr old!

2009-05-04T19:27:00.000-07:00

So Sunday's have been a challenge for me the past couple weeks to the point that I don't even want to go. So last Sunday Bethanie was given a talk before we went to church and then right before sacrament started. So as the sacrament was being blessed, Bethanie threw herself on me and said that she was tired and wanted to go home. So I quietly said, "Bethanie we are not going home, please be quiet during the sacrament!" The blessing was done and they started passing it to the congregation and she says at the top of her lungs: "But I am just a child who needs to take a nap!" I said "Bethanie please be quiet!!" She then says, "But I am just a child who has been here for a long time!!" So I quietly got up and took her to the hall. Great! Why does it have to be so hard!!! Good thing that I have a sister and her family that can help out!

Birthday Pics!

2009-04-25T10:28:00.000-07:00

Brooklyn Nichole Freeman

2009-04-24T21:44:00.000-07:00

Slideshow #2....something was wrong with slide.com so I went to photobucket!

Brooklyn Nichole Freeman

2009-04-24T19:56:00.000-07:00

Today is Brooklyn's first Birthday......OMG where has the time gone. Happy Birthday my little angel, Mommy loves you very much!!!!

What a great road traveled for her to get here.

Months after:
Having to go on a diet...I guess I was too fat to have a baby?
Pre-eclampsia
High blood pressure
Throwing up morning, noon, and night
Bed rest for three weeks or maybe it was a few months????
More hours at the hospital in labor than I anticipated
Piece of cake delivery with pushing for maybe a half hour
Coming home and feeling the blues
Hard time with the whole breast feeding thing
Trying to be a wife and a mom
Jaundice
Lights
Give up the breast feeding thing and went to formula
Blessing day
Croup at three months and an overnight in the Hospital
Having a great baby!
Love of my life....Need I say more!

Easter Pics

2009-04-14T19:04:00.001-07:00

Whatever came to mind.....

2009-04-05T14:57:00.000-07:00

So I haven't blogged for awhile and thought I would take the time today to do a little. First things first.....MY DIVORCE IS FINAL! Yeah for me! Can you tell that I am excited? There are still days that I miss the whole marriage/husband/wife life, but then there are days where PJ is a jerk about something and I thank my lucky stars that we are not married!!!

Bethanie is good, still her smart little self. She is so sassy sometimes that I wonder what her age is.....4 or 20? She says that she is not going to Kindergarten. I tell her "Yes B you are going to Kindergarten whether you like it or not." She stomps around for a few minutes and forgets what we just talked about. Like my brother Paul says: 'Give'em five minutes and it is over.' B loves her sister, so much that I think she strangles her every time they hug! Gotta love siblings.

Brooklyn is growing sooooo fast. She is now crawling like a race car and loves to be able to move around. Her and Danny (her uncle that we live with) play this game called 'Bonk'. Danny says 'bonk' and they smack each other in the head with their foreheads. It is so cute. She is starting to pull herself up on things, but only to her knees. She has her days where she loves bb food and then she goes on strike and has to have adult food. Go figure! She loves her Aunt Nichole and screams when you take her away from her. She is talking like crazy. She goes to my mom's three times a week and loves my mom's dog Heidi. In fact she can say Heidi. The other day we were getting into the car and she saw another dog and says "Heidi" So now every animal is called a 'Heidi'. I woke one morning with her laying in her bed, holding her stuffed cat, and her saying: "Heidi, Heidi" It was the cutest thing ever.

Here are some recent pics of the girls:

2009-03-20T20:23:00.000-07:00

So...tonight we had our first spring BBQ with my parents. We were just BSing after dessert and we hear Carter and Ryleigh asking B to move out of the way of the television. I asked Ryleigh what was going on and she said that B was running back and forth in front of the television. So I asked B to come up and see me. Well she came running upstairs and was upset. I said: "Bethanie, why are you running in front of the tv?" She responds with the most serious look on her face and says: "I was exercising my legs!"

Catch Up!

2009-03-17T19:28:00.000-07:00

So I have decided that I don't get enough time to do all the blogging and FB that I would like to do. So I put the baby to bed, Bethanie is sitting on the floor reading books, and I am going to take a few minutes to do something for myself and catch up.

The past couple weeks have been very difficult for me. Bethanie has had a hard time understanding why her mother has to go to work. I have tried to explain it several times and she still doesn't understand. This morning was very hard for me. We are in the car on the way to my mom's, who babysits the girls, and she says to me: "Mom I really want you to get fired so you don't have to go to work anymore!" What do you say to her. When we got to my mom's house, she would not let me go. She hung on for dear life. I sat in a chair and just held her trying to keep my composer. Finally she let me go of me so I could go to work. I gave hugs and kisses and walked out the door. My mom has this window that I go up to and wave goodbye and blow kisses to the girls. So I got to the car and just feel apart. How in the world do you manage not too? Last Friday we had her in to the Drs office for lab work on a UTI. Well she has one....when it rains it pours!! I sometimes wonder to myself...How much more can a little four-year-old handle. So today I was talking with my mom and we decided that B just needs lots and lots of love and affection. So after work, we came home, put Brooklyn to bed, and played. Just the two of us. We jumped on the tramp and laughed and laughed. We played games and even did 'homework' that I got from my Kindergarten teacher. Bethanie says to me while we are doing the 'homework': "Mom, I love this day!"

Brooklyn on the other hand is finally over her ear infections and all that cold stuff. Well Saturday I went to dinner with my bro and parents. My mom was holding Brooklyn and says: "Can you give this kid a mint or something her breathe stinks!" I was all "WHAT!" So I took Brooklyn and smelt her breathe and sure as snow it STUNK!!! I remembered the smell. It reminded me of how B's breathe smelt when she got Thrush at the age of 26 months. I really didn't think anything of it til Sunday. I was trying to get Brooklyn to take a bottle and while she was screaming, I saw this nasty looking white stuff that looked like cottage cheese in her mouth on the sides of her cheeks. GREAT!!! One more thing to add to our plate. That night I took her to Kidscare and sure as snow it was Thrush. The poor kid! So we went and got the RX and she hates it more than anything in this world. I beat she would rather eat peas or green beans!! We have to dip a q-tip in a anti fungal liquid and swab it in her month. She kicks and screams and kicks some more. So I asked the dr if it was contagious and he told me NO. Others in my fam think that it is....well I was talking to my ped dr and come to find out it is not contagious. The fungus that causes thrush or any yeast infection, has to be able to attach itself to tissue or something that is 'poreis' (with pores). So no worries fam, you can't get it by sucking on a toy that Brooklyn has sucked on because the fungus cannot grab on to something that doesn't have tissue or pores!

Other than that life seems to be good. I love my fam and close friends for all their love, support, and understanding through this time in my life.......I Love You All!

Oh, here are some recent pics:

Best Friends

2009-03-02T06:09:00.001-08:00

Here are two girls that totally love each other. I hope and pray they will be BFs forever. I went up to Bountiful to get the girls from PJs sister Heidi's house and thought that we would go kidnap Natalie from her house. See Amy, her mom, just had a baby and I know how it is to have a new baby and a four-year-old. So we went and kidnapped Natalie and off to our house we went. We decided to go and grab McDonald's...well that turned into.."Can we stay and play?" How could I say no to two great kids. So we stayed and they had a blast. When it was time to go, B said to Nat "Natalie you have my heart" I wanted to cry and yes I finally did. We dropped Nat off at her house and I cried. They are such good friends and hardly ever get to see each other. I went home that night and cried some more. My dad made a really good point, which in turn made me feel sooooo much better. He said, "Kim look at it this way. At least they live 20 minutes apart. I could be worse if you lived 200 miles or in another state." THANKS DAD! You truly know how to make me feel better. So cheers to Nat and B, may you two be BFs forever!!!

I Know.....

2009-02-20T12:45:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know that it is not March yet, but I really hate February with Valentine's Day and all so I changed my background. March is a good month, it is closer to April which brings Spring. Spring is closer to May and May brings June. June is good because it brings Summer!

Lolli Pop

2009-02-14T13:13:00.000-08:00

Yesterday the kids had their Valentine's Parties at school. Well Today Carter dumped all of his out on the floor. Brooklyn decided to move her way over to his pile and get a sucker. When I saw that she had one I went to go take it away. She yelled and screamed at me so.......I put her in her chair at the table and gave it to her. Happy Valentine's Day Brooklyn....Mommy loves you!

"I wanna go....."

2009-02-07T19:50:00.000-08:00

So the other day, Nichole's oldest girls decided they wanted to go swimming. So they did....Well B decided that she wanted to go, but I couldn't let her go without me. Needless to say she was not very happy. She threw one of her tantrums and I wanted to scream. Well my mom and sister were there and they suggested to fill the tub with water and let her swim there......So we did. She put on her swimming suite and goggles and headed to the tub. It was the funniest thing, she got in and started to cry because Ryleigh didn't want to get in and because I would join. Can you see me in my swim suite with her in the tub?!?!?! That would not be a good sight. We then decided that since Brooklyn hadn't had a bathe for the day that we would let her get in and play. The only difference was that Brooklyn was in her birthday suite. Try explaining that to B.........
B has had a hard time being here in Kearns and not having her BF, Nat, to play with. Well today I took her up to play and I am soooooo glad that she had the chance to go and be with her BF. We love Nat and her fam. We can't wait till little Nicole is born(I am sure Amy can't wait either). We told Nat that we would come and steal her from her mom and she can come and hang with us when that baby is born. I'm not sure that she understood the term 'Steal', but I finally told her that I would just come and get her and she could spend that day hanging with us. We are so blessed to have such great friends in our lives....Thank you for allowing us to be part of your fam Nat...we love you guys!

Two things: Brooklyn and Angels

2009-02-03T18:18:00.000-08:00

So, we went to PCMC and spent a few hours there waiting to see the Specialist, Dr. StotsWe finally got in and he showed us the x-rays and showed us the parts that concerned the Pediatrician. He told us how he could see why the ped. could be concerned, but as he looks at them he doesn't see a problem with her hips. He wants to re-check her hips with x-rays in 6 months. Brooklyn has a few things against her and that is the fact that she is a female and the other is the fact that I had hip problems when I was her age. The other factor is the fact the other fam members(on PJ's side)had problems. So we will re-check her in August and go from there!

So here is a great story about angels. I have been looking for a car for awhile. I thought that I found one and was going to try and buy it....well as I was talking to my sister Nichole about buying this car, the teacher she aide's for says: "Hey I have a car you can just have!" I went "What!" Ya she said I will just give it to you. Well here we are three months later and it is finally mine. She gave it to me in November and I didn't have the money to register and license it. It drove me nuts to know that I had a car, but couldn't drive it. Well I promised myself that my paycheck in Jan., I would do whatever it took to get it registered and running. Well yesterday I went to the DMV and did all the paper work and got the tags and plates!!!!! I still can't believe that she would do something like that. I didn't know her that well and she just gave me a car. What an ANGEL you are MS. Green.....I am so happy that there are still people out there that will extend what they have to help people. I could cry every time I think about what she has done for me. I hope that one day that I can do for someone that she has done for me. Here are some pics:

Update on Brooklyn

2009-01-31T14:34:00.001-08:00

So when your doctor tells you you have to see a specialist, you think that will be months and months away. Well I called PCMC Pediatric Orthopedic Specialist on Thursday to get an appointment. Well we are being seen Monday Feb. 2nd at 1:00 pm. So keep your fingers crossed and I will update you on Monday (if there is any update) Love you all Tons!!!

Brooklyn~Nine months

2009-01-28T19:39:00.000-08:00

So Brooklyn turned 9 Months last Saturday. I can not believe where the time has gone. I just think of my little sis Heather, her baby will be one at the end of Feb. The just grow up so fast. So I had to change Brooklyn's Well Baby Check Up to Monday instead of Tuesday, because once again she was sick. So we did two visits in one big one. She weighs 15 lbs and 16 oz. and she is 27.25 inches long. She is in the 17% of her weight and the 37% of her height. I was concerned about how she held her legs and confronted the Dr. about it and he went through a bunch of questions. The first was was she born breech? No but en-utero (or in the womb) she had her feet always up by her ears. Second, are there any hip problems in the family? Well, yes there is. I had to wear a brace to help my hips and PJ's sister Heidi has a daughter that had hip problems. He said that to be on the safe side, we should take some film (x-rays) and just take a look. Well I had to wear a brace around my legs when I was little and Heidi's daughter had to wear one for 18 months. So it might be a problem. Dr. Bentley said that he didn't feel any catches or kinks(if that is how you sp the word), but lets just look anyway. I told Dr. Bentley that I had to wear a brace when I was little and he said that they don't do that any more!!!!! So we took the x-rays and were on our way. Well I got a phone call this afternoon from the Dr's office and the x-rays didn't come back good. There definately a problem. He said that we need to take her up to PCMC and have her looked at by a Pediatric Orthapedic Specialist. Well if any of you know me, which a lot of you do, on came the flood. Ya know it is the last thing you want to hear when your child has been in and out of the hospital with croup, we are going on our third ear infection since last December, and life is up in shambles to begin with. Well, it is a good thing that I have the power of the priesthood and pray on my side. And of course an optimistic ex-husband who just said "They will just put her in a brace like they did with Lili Ann and she will be fine!" So we will just have to wait and see what they say.

Brooklyn is sitting up great. She loves to jump in her jumperoo and to play on the floor with her toys. She loves the bath and hates it when I get her out of the tub. She is always talking and thinks we know what she is saying....her smile and her shyness is to die for.....she is hates baby food and loves table food (which is okay to give her according to her dr.)....she has this thing about her that just makes me smile.

Getting so BIG....

2009-01-09T09:45:00.000-08:00

So when Bethanie was four months old her grandma Marlene gave her a Jumperoo for Christmas. I really wasn't sure about the toy and wondered if B was too little for it. Well we tried it at our apartment and she loved it. I can remember when we moved back to SLC from New Mexico she was really jumping in it and I went to change the laundry. As I am changing the laundry, I didn't hear the bouncer. I walk slowly into the front room and B had fallen asleep......Well the other day we got it out for Brooklyn and she loves it(especially if someone is in the room watching her...that little performer). We all got a kick out of it. especially Bethanie. She likes to pretend she is jumping with her sister. Well look at what happens when you jump for a half hour at 7:30 at night:

Heck Ya!!!

2009-01-03T09:28:00.000-08:00

WE DID IT!!! To all of you who didn't think we could, which was about 89% of the Nation.....WE DID IT! The underdogs, the team west of the Mississippi, the great University of Utah.

Last night I went over to my sister Heather's house to watch the game. My brother Matthew was there and that game rocked! Brad, Heather's husband, put the game through his projecter and let me tell you....watching that game on that made me feel like I was one of the fans at the actual game. I would of loved to of been there, but ya know.....I really don't understand all this BCS stuff and the controversy of that whole thing, but we went in with our heads high and kicked some major butt!!!!!! Go Utah, We showed them!!!

Christmas 2008

2008-12-30T10:43:00.000-08:00

I am not going to color coat this, but Christmas was very hard for me. It didn't feel like Christmas, but I tried really hard. Having to give up most of Christmas day for the girls to spend with their dad was hard for me. I know that is how it has to be and next year will be just as hard, but...... Little Brooklyn doesn't really even know what happened, she kind of just sat there and ate the wrapping paper! That girl...she is the best. Bethanie had so much fun coming down the stairs with the kids and finding out the Santa really did come(after all the adults told her that he didn't). She loved opening her presents and finding out that Santa did get her letter telling him where she was and what she wanted. Seeing how my camera broke a few months ago, we rely on good aunt Nichole. I took some pics with my regular cam, so when I develop those look for the update on the slide show. The girls left at noon and I won't lie, I cried. Here I thought that so far this divorce wasn't bad...well maybe sometimes. But the New Year is approaching and the new things will continue to flow my way. I look back at Christmas and think it isn't about gifts or toys or goodies....It is about the Savior and I am very lucky to have Him and all that he brings to me.

Bethanie and her adult talk!

2008-12-18T19:04:00.000-08:00

So.....Bethanie is four going on 24. She is like a little adult. She can carry on a conversation with anybody like she was their age or older. Today she was at a friends house and we were talking about a Brooklyn and how she is a baby....Well Bethiane pipes off and says: "No she is a Human Being!" What four-year-old knows what a human being is....... Bethanie's dad has a aunt and they live in Woods Cross. Well this aunt introduced her to 'coffee creamer', french vanilla to be exact. Well she loves it. Elli(the aunt) adds milk or water to it and Bethanie drinks it up. Well the other day a friend of mine asks Bethanie if she would like some milk with her lunch. Bethanie says "Yes, coffee milk please" My friend Lonni, says 'what!' Well she tells me this and I had to explain to her the whole story. Now we just laugh. I love that kid....she can really brighten up your day. My mom and I have always sung to Bethanie, since she was little, 'You are my Sunshine' and now a days that just sums up that girl. She is my sunshine!!!!

Odds and Ends

2008-12-14T18:37:00.000-08:00

Here are some pics~~~odds and ends from cell phone!

Ward Christmas Party!

2008-12-09T18:22:00.001-08:00

LOVE ward christmas parties. We had a blast at ours the other night. The kids ran around like the had been given sugar for dinner! The bell people from Bountiful came and did a wonderful job. We had the Nativity done and we had a special guest, SANTA. I truely believe that children's attention span is not very long and by 8:45pm when he arrived...the just ran to him and were so excited. Here are a few pics of our 'eventful' night. I have also added a few of the girls. We just have lots of fun and I can't believe how they are growing. Love you all, thaks for all you do and your support.

Pickles

2008-12-01T18:21:00.000-08:00

So we gave Brooklyn a dill pickle on Thanksgiving and she loved it. In fact she got so mad and screamed at me when I took it from her. I gave her another and she dropped it on the floor and that was the end of the story. She screamed for awhile and then realized that she wasn't going to get one back.

We had dinner at my parents house. We haven't done that in a long time. This is the first Thanksgiving together since my dad retired from the military. I am so Thankful that he has retired and that we can be together on the holidays. Family is the best and without mine I am not sure where I would be today.

Dinner, mmmmmmmm it was sure good!!!

I am Thankful for.......

2008-11-26T21:40:00.000-08:00

Well I can tell you that mine won't be as long as Nicholes, but here I go.....

I am Thankful for:
~Bethanie
~Brooklyn
~Nichole and allowing me to take over her house
~Danny
~Caitlin
~Emma
~Carter
~Ryleigh
~Heather and her little fam
~Matthew and his little fam
~Paul and his fam
~My AWESOME parents
~Growing up in the Military
~My travels as a kid
~Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints
~Haveing such great family
~For my Savior
~Great Friends
~Life
~Health and Happiness
~Brooklyn's great smile
~Bethanie's laugh
~Bad days
~Trials
~Having the chance to be a Mom
~My Job

Okay....Tag your it.....Amy, Tiffany, Katie, Ferrol, Jen.....and who ever else.

New Pics!

2008-11-24T20:59:00.001-08:00

The song and the pics have no connection, I just like the song!

Crazy!

2008-11-24T19:55:00.000-08:00

So call me crazy if you like...it isn't even Thanksgiving and I changed my background to Christmas. Well I decided that while I am online tonight that I better do it before I don't. Besides I have to celebrate with red because of the AWESOME game on Saturday....GO UTES! Things have once again been crazy....I am out of school on Wednesday so I will place a new slide show of the girls so you all can see how big they are getting. Brooklyn was at PCMC again on Friday morning. She has Croup again...lovely for me. Good thing it was on a weekend and school was out for SEPs. She is better, but still has a head cold. That was a crazy night. I got up at 5:30 that morning, went to work, had a little nap, went to Twilight at midnight, and then to PCMC at 3:15am. I was going on 24 hrs of no sleep. Good thing for sisters. I got to sleep when Brooklyn slept and Bethaine was able to run around with kids and Nichole watched over. Thanks A Million Sis! Twilight was awesome and I could see it over and over and over again. I have only read the book once and am almost done with Eclipse. I can't wait to re-read Twilight, I hope I get more out of it this time. Well at least really pay attention to it. I think when you read books for the first time you just read to get through it, so next time I will take my time.

Busy, Busy, Busy!

2008-11-10T21:30:00.000-08:00

So I decided that I better blog something before you all think I fell off the face of the earth. I can't beleive how busy I have been lately. I never thought that getting a divorce and having to go back to work would give me no time for myself. I get up, get ready for the day, get the girls ready, take them to the sitter's house(my mom now), head off to work, go get the girls, go home and then try to do the 'motherly' things(laundry, getting dinner, cleaning, spending time with the girls, etc). It may sound like I am complaining, but I am not. I love work and the girls love my mom and being with. It was great for us to go out to Heather's house the last three weeks, Bethanie has loved being with Jackson. Big thanks to Heather for taking them, LOL (to me that is lots of love)!!!! The girls are great! Brooklyn has two teeth coming in. I took a look before I put her to bed and they are almost all the way through. The weekend was horrible, she was in a lot of pain!! I can't even imagine what it feels like, but Nichole can; just ask her!!! Bethanie is great, she loves being with her cousins. She just fits right in here, she takes off her coat and leaves it on the frontroom floor just like the rest of the kids!!!! Since I forgot to put pics in of Halloween take a look at the show:

One thing to say.......

2008-11-07T07:51:00.000-08:00

I just have one thing to say today and that is....

GO UTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We kicked some butt last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No more camera!

2008-10-26T11:02:00.000-07:00

So I took pics yesterday of Bethanie at a Halloween party. She had soo much fun. They had games and a cake walk and even bob for apples. It was a good time. Well we get home and I am taking the stuff in and I dropped my camera! Didn't think anything of it and put it in my purse. Well I went to go take a pic this morning of Brooklyn sleeping and turned on the camera and died. The screen that you face at the thing or item your going to take a pic was completly white with a few black cracks though it! So these are pobably the last few pic you will see from me until I get it fixed or a new one. And I don't have a money tree so that may be a long time!!!

Venting!

2008-10-25T20:19:00.001-07:00

So I never wanted this blog to be a place to be rude to someone or to through out all my probs or to gossip or to do whatever but talk about my girls and my life. Yes the is a but. I need to vent my thoughts before I explode! I am having the worst time being alone. I have a hard time thinking that I am going to be alone for the rest of my life. I know that I have fam and all that, but..........Wouldn't it be nice to have someone who totally loves you with all their HEART and has you placed on a silver platter? Now don't get me wrong, I would rather be dead then be with PJ, but that fear of being alone is in my mine. I look at other couples and see the love that they have for their spouse, and I wonder what happened? I don't feel like I ever had that, well maybe the first year or so. And to think I stayed for 6 years after that. I love my girls and would never trade them for anything. They are the best thing I got out of those eight years. I hope that I will learn from this and realize that I will NOT give up myself and my needs. someone once told me "in order to love someone else you must first love your self!" I believe that is true and trust me that is what I am doing. Putting myself first this time!!! I look at all I have had to give up for this divorce; my friends, my great ward, Bethanie's dance and her BF, Nat, the opp to work at home, my health insurance, and I wonder what else is going to go bad..................but then reality hits me. I love my new job, Bethanie has good friends, the ward here is great (besides we don't go to church for friends or socialization) and Bethanie can go to dance anywhere. Life is good and the Lord has made everything just fall into place and I am going to cling onto that forever!!!

Life is just not fair, according to Bethanie!

2008-10-20T22:03:00.000-07:00

So tonight, Caitlin had some friends over to hang out. Well they decided to go jump on the tramp and Bethanie wanted to join. Well................that is kind of hard when they are all so big and jump really high. Bethanie doesn't understand that she could get hurt and that is why life isn't fair! Just look at the pics of her patiently waiting for her turn and then finally getting really upset.

That face! Can you believe it. It is so hard to be four!!!!!

Still waiting!!!!

Ok, I give up.

Well, Bethanie decided not to wait anymore. She gave in. It is so difficult for her to understand. She so wants to be 12 and a grown up. Give it time is what I tell her. Don't grow up too fast, life has just begun for you.

Family

2008-10-19T21:19:00.001-07:00

Let me jsut say I have the best family. This time last year my sister, Heather, was expecting. I was expecting and my sister-in-law (Kat) found out that they were expecting. Oh my heck! It was great. Three women in the same fam pregnant. Well Addiosn Scoot was born February 28th, Brooklyn was born April 24th, and finally Zoe was born June 29th. So pretty much they are all twomonths apart. Tonight we had dinner at my sister Nichole's house. Addi and Brookie were on the floor playing. Addi now sits by herself and is crawling and Brookie just lays and rolls around.
This is Addison. Eight months old. Ithink she looks like a Cupie(if that is how you spell the word) Doll.
Of course, here is Brooklyn. Six months old. That girl..............what a wonderful baby. We have not had her relfux medicine for a few days and let me tell you she has been very upset. Even without it, she is pretty good to handle. My little sis had some of the med that Brooklyn takes and brought us out some. About a half hour after I gave Brooklyn some, she was as content as could be. Thank goodness for fam. Not having a job that pays every other week is hard. Now I can wait for payday and then fill Brooklyn's rx. Your a lifesaver sis, thanks!

Now Zoe is in this pic, it might be hard to see her, but she is there. She is four months soon and is jsut a doll. She looked so cute in her Boston Red Sox outfit.

I hope that these girls will be close friends and cousins. I love the fact that Bethanie and Jackson were born so close together. I see what good friends they are and am thankful that they have had each other to play with. Watching Jackson, when Heather was working was great for Bethanie. They have and still are great friends. We love you all so much. I know I have said this a thousand times and I will probably say it a thousand times more but..........Thank You all for all that you have done for me and my girls. Going thru a divorce is not as easy as it looks, but I have been blessed by the Lord and it has been pretty easy thus far. We have hit some bumps in the road, but with the help of our Heavenly Father and our Savior we got through them and will be able to get through anything.

She did it!!!

2008-10-18T08:18:00.000-07:00

So when we moved into my sister's house and since the day Bethanie got a big bed, we have had big problems with her staying in her own bed. She would come into my room and want to sleep in my bed. Well that really doesn't work for me, I don't sleep and she does! Go figure. So when we moved into Nichole's house I made Bethanie a kiss promise that if she could stay in her own bed for so many days, I would take her to Build -a-Bear and she could make a animal. Well She Did It!!!!!! So yesterday I took her to Build-a-Bear and she got her animal. We had so much fun stuffing, bathing, and dressing her TURTLE. She named her turtle Crush like the turtle off of Finding Nemo, even though crush is a boy in the movie! This Crush is a girl and Bethanie loves the fact that she got Crush and now we all call her a BIG GIRL for sleeping and staying in her own bed!!!! Take a look at the pics! Love you all and thanks for all your help!

The pumpkin patch!

2008-10-15T21:38:00.000-07:00

So we deiced to hit the pumpkin patch tonight and boy did we have fun. I thought it was going to be cold, but as the sun set it was actually warm. We went to the Mabey Pumpkin Patch in South Jordan. These people have a great view of the Jordan River Temple. Anyway, we got our pumpkins and took some pics. I thought I would share 'em. Have a great and safe Halloween to all.

Things that you give up!

2008-10-14T21:01:00.000-07:00

I was trying to get Bethanie to bed this evening before the Season Premiere of Eli Stone on ABC. We got to bed at 8:25 and Bethanie says to me, "Mom, I am hungry!" So off to the kitchen we went to get some cereal or what Bethaine calls a 'Bedtime Snack' As we ate and then had fam prayer with my sis and her fam, 9:00 came fast. As I went down the stairs to get Bethanie to bed, my sister says "Oh, the things we give up for our kids!" It really mad me think.....Do we as mothers and wives really do give up the things we like for our families. Now some of you may say, 'Well, you chose to be a mom, so there ya go', but I feel differ. Yes I became a mother and a wife, but do I have to loose myself too. Well I say no. I look at the past few years of my life and wonder, Did I let myself and what I want go? Maybe, but now I am going to get that or whatever I feel I lost back. I have started working. Yes it may not be by choice, but I don't think I would change it for nothing. I love doing what I do and no I don't feel bad that my kids have to go to the sitter. I went to college to teach and I feel that this is the closest I may ever get to teaching. I look at my sister, Nichole, (sorry to use u as a example) but I see how she has changed now that her children are a lot older than mine and pray that I can be like her. She has this attitude of What about me and my needs. She is a great mother and she loves her kid to death, but she is right. We put our kids first before ourselves, for whatever the reason, for so long and sometime in life we need to get that back. Good Job sis, way to set the bar!!! Now I am not saying that she doesn't care for her kids or that they are a problem, but she puts herself first too. So the next time you want to buy that shirt or you next 'Sex in the City' outfit, go for it and don't look back!!!

(This is a pic of my sister Nichole in Las Vegas at some Elvis wall. She loves Elvis)

Update

2008-10-10T18:54:00.000-07:00

So I decided to give Brooklyn some bangs. I had a hard time deciding to leave her hair or cut it. Well the bangs won!! My niece's and I decided to pull up the middle and this is what we got. Her new nickname is Bebbles. She is getting so big and I can't believe how fast the time is going. She is now on two stage one baby foods a day and is drinking 8oz. bottles, Bethanie never took a 8oz bottle. She now weighs 14 lbs and 11 oz. She is 25 inches long and still growing. She is in the 50 % of her height, weight, and head circumference. I am such a lucky mom. To have two great, beautiful, and wonderful girls. Bethanie is doing so good. She is learning her ABC's and her name. She is a smart kid and I can not believe that she will go to Kindergarten next year. WOW!! I have decided that the girls are so have such close fam. Bethaine and Ryleigh are like sisters and that means a lot to me. The kids love the girls and sometimes if not most of the time get in trouble because they like to be around the girls then do what Nichole and Danny ask... Sorry! I am so blessed to be with my sister and her fam. I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for the sacrifice they have made for me and my fam. My fam has been so supportive and great through the whole process. I am blessed to have such a close fam..."You mess with me, You mess with the whole damn fam." Thank you all for your support and willingness to help me and my girls. I love you all tons. I put up the jumper roo for Brooklyn and she like it but she really didn't know what to do with it so I put it back in the garage. I took pics and a video when she was in it, it was funny for us to see her in it. My little Bebbles! Brooklyn also has this thing with putting a blanket over her head when she wants to go to sleep. So I put her under her gym to play and she fell asleep. Well she pulled the blanket over her head. It really makes me nervous.....I think she might smother herself, but she doesn't. I guess that main thing is that she goes to sleep and when I know she is sound asleep, I go and take it off her face. That silly girl!

Changed My Mind!!!

2008-10-08T21:02:00.000-07:00

Ya know lately I can't make up my mind. I am not sure what I want this blog to look like and I finally decided to leave it with one background. So I spent the last 35 minutes looking for one I really liked and here it is................................

Today was ruff and I don't think I will go into details, but Iam so thankful for my fam. and our Heavenly Father. What a great thing it is to be able to get on my knees and talk to him like he is right next to me! I know that whatever I tell him or ask him he listens. I love the poem Footsteps, a lot of the times I feel that way. What a comfort he is and I am blessed to have that!

My Bethanie

2008-10-07T21:37:00.000-07:00

So.....today was my first day back to a full day of work since May 2004. The day went great, but Bethanie told me as we were getting ready to go that mom's don't work. Well I told that some moms do and that is okay. Well she then proceeded to tell me that I was a mean mom for going to work.....................Great!!!! How do you tell your four-year-old daughter that you have stayed home all her life that you have to do this, mom doesn't have a choice! I try to explain things to Bethaine as plain and simple as I possibly can, but she is a very smart kid and knows what she knows! I love her to death and really hate to see her upset. Well once we got to her Grandma Marlene's house (she has a daycare in her home and is letting me bring the girls) she was just fine! I cried as I left and got hateful for a few minutes, but after being at work and seeing that someone else may have it worse than I, I got over it! I know that the past few weeks have been hard on the girls, especially Bethanie but I've said it once and I will say it again....I know with all that I have that what PJ and I have done is the right thing. Why live like that? I am happy and very content with the decision I have made...it is all up hill from here!

Tag~five things that u may not know about me!

2008-10-06T13:16:00.000-07:00

So my sister Nichole tagged me with this 'five things you don't know about me'! Well this may be very hard for me but I will give it a try.......................

1. I was Freshman Attendant for Homecoming when I went to Mesa State College in Grand Junction Colorado. I was the coolest experience that I ever had in college. I had never been that popular, well so I thought. I think the only reason I was nominated and won was because all the home coming committee was in my institute classes and we were all good Friends and they decided to nominate me and them tell me they did after I won!

2. I love High School Musical!

3. My favorite movie is Last of the Mohican's.

4. I have lived all over the United States and can say that I would not of changed it for nothing. My fav places was probably Iowa. I went from JR. 9th grade to High school 9th grade. Scary! I really remember being in Des Monies and all my friends at high school and church (Katie Helt, Jared Griffen, Jeff Foster, Arianne Chatterly, Kristen Smith, and the Kristen my sister through up against the wall because she said something about me in the bathroom.) I remember the winters and how cold they were and the summers and how humid they were. My high school looked like a prison. I went from Pennsylvania as a majority to Iowa as a minority! I played church ball and loved to watch the Boys play ball (only cause I was in love with my seminary teacher, Janet McCoy's son. Which I never missed seminary because he was there). I got ejected from a b-ball game because I threw a girl into the wall. I visited Nauvoo for the first time. Hit puberty and got contacts(those coke bottle glasses had to go) Tried out for drill team and got turned down even though the girl I tried out with fell and gave up and I had to do it with another person. I lettered academically for the first time and had a big ceremony. Got my drivers license, but could not drive to school (of course I moved right after) TP with a lot of church friends and got caught. I was told I had really big cafe muscles by Jared Griffen........I am sure I could go on, but I won't bore you.

5. My ultimate dream would be to be an interpreter for the Deaf.

Tag your it: Amy, Tiffany, Katie, and whoever else want to share!

Follower

2008-10-03T20:19:00.000-07:00

So maybe I am a follower not a leader. I was looking at my fam and friends blog and saw two things on two differ blogs and though y not. I loved the Christmas Countdown off of my friend Tiffany and had to download the widget. I come from a family that was raised on big celebrations when it came time to the holidays. So......I then went to my sister Heather's blog and saw that she changed her background for the season or current month/holiday. So I thought y not. They have all differ kinds of backgrounds for all differ occasions, so y not. I felt like using the witchy one, because one I love the color purple and two I like witches (I think I might of even been called that a time or two). Thanks for all your great ideas and thanks for letting me be the follower in this blogging world.

LOL

Sorry!

2008-10-03T15:52:00.000-07:00

Hey Tiff, I just had to have the same countdown.....My fam and I totally love Christmas. Hope u don't mind.

How Many???

2008-10-02T21:17:00.000-07:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There are
9
people with my name in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Brooklyn at five months!

2008-09-30T15:43:00.000-07:00

I can not believe that she is 5 months old..............boy time flies by faster than you know.

You know when your living right when........

2008-09-29T19:58:00.000-07:00

Today has been the best day for a long time. I can soooooo tell that I am living my life right. Ever since I moved in with my sister, Nichole, things have just fallen into place. I got a job working the playground at Oquirrh Hills. This morning my sister got a call from the school. See Nichole works there as a Title One Teacher Aide and helps the Kindergarten teacher do certain things. She also helps with reading and helping the kids with sight words, etc. Well she found out that one of the Aides was quiting in December and if I had a certain amount of College credits or take a test by the district, I could have this job. Anyway....back to the call. It was the lady in charge of the Aides calling and telling her that an Aide quit and that if I got my transcripts I could start working that position. So I got online and after several hours, drooping the girls off at the babysitter, and going to work for playground duty I got them I ran them over to the lady that does the hiring and she thought I had to have 90 credit hours and if not I would have to take this test. I had 88 hours and the test that I would have to take is $40.00 dollars and I know that I don't have that money and I would have to wait. Waiting for that, I might lose the chance for that job. Well come to find out that the credit hours of 90 were for quarter hours not Semester hours. Well since I had 88 semester hours (more than two years of college) I got the job. I was soooo happy. Things have fallen into place and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I must be living right. I have always known that our Savior works in mysterious ways and by all of this just falling into place proves to me that He is there; hearing and answering my prayers. I am so thankful for that and for the opportunity to be a member of this great and wonderful plan that our Heavenly Father has created for us.
I won't start the Title One Teacher Aide until Thursday or Friday, but that is okay. So I go from working one hour to five hour days. I said to my sister that this is the next best thing to teaching, since that is what I went to school to be. I can not wait....I am so excited. It has been a long time since I last worked, but doing something like this is like a dream come true!!!!! Thanks to everyone who has helped out in this new adventure that I have taken. I know that it may not always go this smooth, but with all of you and your help, I know that I can get through it.

I Love you all very much.

I wanna Be.........

2008-09-25T13:53:00.001-07:00

These are crazy and funny pics of Bethanie!

Working 9-5!!!

2008-09-25T08:53:00.000-07:00

It has been a little over four years since I had a job. Not like that is a big deal or nothing, but it is sometimes hard to get back in the groove. I started working with the Granite School District as a duty for the playground. Hopefully in a couple weeks I will be adding more hours. They are trying to find some ESL hours for me to help out the spanish kids and in December I will be full time. I will then go onto a Teacher Aide which works 9 to 3. I am way excited. I went to college to become a teacher and then stopped when I couldn't handle bothe full time work and full time school. Then I got married and had kids....look at me now back to the grind so I can support myself again and my girls. I had a good friend tell me how strong I was to be doing this, but today I don't feel so strong. I konw with all my heart that what I am doing is right and I know that I wll have good and bad days.... I will be glad when it is all over and I can move on!!!!!!!

Place to call home!

2008-09-22T16:09:00.000-07:00

I decided that you all should see where I have now settled. I am so thankful for family and a place to call home. Without them I am not sure where I would be, so thank you from the bottom of my heart to all that helped me get here. I love all of you soooooooo much and am extremely thankful that I have you in my and my girls life!!!!!

Baby Food!!!

2008-09-18T18:40:00.000-07:00

So we have started baby food with Brooklyn. She loves it, if you can't all ready tell. We had sweet potatoes. Needless to say she is growing like a weed.
We have gone with the beech nut because I heard it has that DHA or something like that in it, which is to help with her eye sight and other stuff. An extra plus is that it is the cheepest at Walmart and Smiths. Speaking of Smiths, the have this baby club and every time you earn 200 points, they give you ten dollars to spend on whatever!!!!!
Her reflux has got a lot worse and we were in o the Dr's. today. They increased her medication (previcid (sp)) and put her on another(Reglan). I was shocked because he never or hardly ever prescribes it. We will have to see how it goes. I pray that it controls it alot more or really helps fix the prob., I am so tired of five to six outfits a day and that laundry is piling up. Oh well, "that's what moms are for" right!!!!!

We are Here!!!

2008-09-16T21:21:00.000-07:00

The girls and I have finally left Bountiful. We are now at my Sister Nichole's house. I feel pretty good about being here and now with everything I have that what I have done is the right thing. I have prayed and counselled with the Lord and get the biggest confirmation that this is right. I am tired so I am going to sign off for now, I'll blog later with pics and our new adventures. LOL to everyone!

New Leaf

2008-09-11T17:27:00.001-07:00

Bethanie, Brooklyn, and I have started a new adventure. This blog will keep you all up to date on the three of us, hence the title: My 2 Girls, My life.